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Blog

Blog

Navigating the Man God Complex

Ever since I was a kid, manhood was presented to me as the solution to everything. All around me men were the center of attention even more than babies. Every Sunday we prayed to a man God. At home whenever food was discussed it was a man who issued money to cook it. At school […]

Me, My Body And Masculinity

My body harbors scars I’m not afraid to speak about. From my teeth to my back. It’s a museum. With endless stories. I grew up being violated and meant to believe violence was a mark of love. And I guess, it’s part of the reason some people say “we were beaten but turned out okay”. […]

The Period Conversation.

Chatting with a friend and she’s telling me how the hormonal stress during menstruation stretches a woman and yet she has to show up for personal and social responsibilities. And we’re saying how men are so removed from this experience because we don’t know what it’s like. It’s true. The current reality is men grow […]

Feminism Is a Man’s Friend, not Enemy

We often act like women wanting to dismantle the patriarchy is an attack to maleness. We even want them to bend their voices and tweak their feminism to what makes us comfortable or seemingly adjacent to soothing the male gaze. We tell them men in fact have it just as hard and we say we […]

When I Came Out with my Rape Story

When I shared my rape story and how I struggled with hypersexuality thereafter, so many men ridiculed me for indulging in sex quite late. They bragged about how they were already banging women by the time they were twenty and how I was so hard on myself. The thing is, none would interpret it as […]

Big Dick Syndrome

Male body shaming is as real as female body shaming. Black men’s bodies also get treated to preconceived social standards that harm their sexual lives. We’re okay with laughing at men who have smaller dicks and we’ve translated it to mean that they can’t satisfy their sexual partners or they’re not men enough. Many men […]

Boys Who Get Raped

PS: Trigger Warning Have you ever asked the men around you if they’ve been sexually abused before? Of course it’s almost impossible to think so, so we barely start those conversations with boys. I have two true stories from my DM. One: A married man told me he has lived with sexual trauma since he […]

The Masculinity Crisis

I’ve been reflecting on Vusi Thembekwayo‘s words when Tom Bilyeu hosted him on Impact Theory about how our self-identity could limit one’s potential. Speaking of my life, I lengthily lamented in my 20s that my father had not prepared enough for my tertiary education that forced me to drop out of campus. Until I got to a point reality dawned […]

About Orgasms

About orgasms:  When I became sexually active, it did not occur to me that pleasuring my partner is an essential process of intercourse. I modelled sex from porn and the machismo spewed by movie stars on TV. Only one man in my life, a doctor at a Ugandan school I attended, attempted to issue me […]