Masculinity is power. But masculinity is terrifyingly fragile because it does not really exist in the sense we are led to think it exists, that is, as a biological reality – something real that we have inside ourselves. It exists as ideology; it exists as scripted behaviour; it exists within “gendered” relationships.

But in the end it is just a social institution with a tenuous relationship to that with which it is supposed to be synonymous to: our maleness, our biological sex.

The young child does not know that sex does not equal gender. For him, to be male is to be what he perceives as being masculine. The child is the father to the man. therefore, to be unmasculine is to be desexed.

Our society, reflecting its own particular preoccupations, stratifies men according to physical strength and athletic ability in the early years, but later in life focuses on success with women and ability to make money. Women are used as ‘symbols of success’ in men’s competition with each other.

Patriarchy has two halves intimately related to each other. Patriarchy is a dual system; a system in which men oppress women, and in which men oppress themselves and each other.

While the patriarchal oppression of women may be lessened as a result of the women’s movement, the patriarchal oppression of men may be untouched.

The masculine norm has its own particular nuances and traits dependent on class, nation, race, religion, and ethnicity. And within each group it has its own personal expression. The expression of male power is radically different from class to class.

When men are encouraged to be open as in men’s support and counselling groups, it becomes apparent that there exists, often under the surface, an internal dialogue of doubt about one’s male and masculine credentials. When you love yourself, you actually stop resisting your feelings.