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Category: Masculinity

Daddy, do you know how it Hurts?

Daddy, do you know how it hurts? Does sitting in a bar breaking bottles into your gut make you feel better than coming home to us? Is the banter sweeter than kissing mum? Is her mouth that bitter? Daddy, I want to learn your pain Every time I look into your eyes I see a […]

Women Deserve Healed Men

I don’t blame women who are indifferent to the pain of men. It’s counterproductive arguing, “why don’t feminists speak when it’s men?””why do you keep quiet when it’s a man?” We have to look at the picture outside the frame.We have to investigate the impetus of this dissociation to balance our perspectives. It’s a trauma response. Women all around […]

Reproductive Health in a Man’s World

I do digital storytelling and new media social justice campaigns. In 2018, Femnet Secretariat commissioned me to preside over a Sexual and Reproductive Health and Rights (SRHR) online advocacy assignment in 6 African countries tagged #SRHRDialogues. Zambia Mozambique Rwanda Tanzania Liberia Guinea Conakry The findings shocked me. You see as an everyday single African young […]

Women’s Safety from Masculinity

It is impossible for a man to claim he loves a woman if he does not actively create safe space for both her individual and structural growth. A woman shouldn’t only feel safe out of her relations to a man. A woman should feel safe because she’s a human being. And it’s in the small […]

“I Am Not Wife Material”

We sat put in the restaurant booth dreamingly gaping into each other’s eyes. It may have been just another date in the books, but this had a different air to it. “I am not wife material.” She muttered. Let’s talk about that. “I meet men who say they want this or that kind of a […]

Men’s Complicated Relationship with Loss

Men have a complicated relationship with loss. I was sharing space with a friend who visited yesterday for tea and conversation. We agreed that because of poor socialization for boys around emotions, they grow up to struggle dealing with difficult sensations that cause pain in their adulthood. Women tend to be attuned to loss from […]

Men Holding Hands

I bumped into this photo on twitter with the caption “kumbe pia wanaume mko na mabestie.”  Boys hold hands when they’re younger. Their friendships are authentic and intimate. But as they become adults, they’re robbed of intimacy with a world that expects them to be competing and not connecting.  This homophobic creed that men shouldn’t hold hands […]

The Laziness of “Not All Men”

We can’t dissociate ourselves from the shame of being idealised as perpetrators by women by retorting “not all men” each time women revolt against sexual and gender based violence. We’re not being honest about the systemic hatred for women indoctrinated upon us by our cultures, media, religions and political class – stiffly perpetuated by egocentric […]

You Only Have One Life

You only have one life. Decide what to do with it.  You only have one life. Decide how you want to spend your days. Decide whom you shall cherish and cherish them indeed. Decide for yourself how freedom must feel. Decide what pain you will carry and which you shall not. You only have one life. Your […]