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Category: Mental Health

The Demons We Run Away From

The first time I had sex I was 20. With 5 years’ experience in masturbation. I got an STI. She manipulated me into sleeping with her. With mandazi. Yes, mandazi. I was a nervous wreck in that bed. Called me a coward for not ejaculating inside her. It hurt. But I was used to insults […]

Healing My Body

Dad was exceedingly brutal on my body, man. Sometimes the beatings were spread out, sometimes bundled in a week. He’d hoist my tiny body to the air and throw me to the wall, like a ball. Only I couldn’t bounce back. He’d stomp his feet on my head like he was eliminating a snake. He’d […]

You Heal as Far as Your Awareness

In neuroscience there’s something called ‘neuroception’. This describes how our nervous systems distinguish whether situations or people are safe, dangerous, or life threatening. As a form of healing, social support like having safe and healthy relationships enable us to ‘co-regulate’. This is connecting to another safe nervous system that helps us rewire our brain to […]

About Orgasms

About orgasms:  When I became sexually active, it did not occur to me that pleasuring my partner is an essential process of intercourse. I modelled sex from porn and the machismo spewed by movie stars on TV. Only one man in my life, a doctor at a Ugandan school I attended, attempted to issue me […]

Slow Down, Slow Down: Healing the mind

The goal is: Slow down. Even if you got all the answers today you wouldn’t be able to hurry time. There is more to your faith or lack of it than what they’ve written in religious books. Search for it. Have you heard of the Dead Sea Scrolls of 1946/7? They found more books that […]

Youth, Sex & Trauma

The first time I had sex I was 20. With 5 years’ experience in masturbation. I got an STI. She manipulated me into sleeping with her. With mandazi. Yes, mandazi. I was a nervous wreck in that bed. Called me a coward for not ejaculating inside her. It hurt. But I was used to insults […]

My Journey with Unspoken Traumas

Daddy and me, first years Unspoken traumas. When I was 5, daddy would put me up on our living room table whenever he was home, switch his Sanyo radio on and ask me to dance for him to soukouss and rhumba hits. We took evening walks around the neighborhood, visiting his friends’ houses while holding […]

Common Mental Health Conditions

Here’s a list of common mental health conditions. Anxiety Anxiety is a normal and often healthy emotion. However, when a person regularly feels disproportionate levels of anxiety, it might become a medical disorder. Anxiety disorders form a category of mental health diagnoses that lead to excessive nervousness, fear, apprehension, and worry. These disorders alter how a person processes […]

Healing Your Traumas

At The Bar My partner and I entered a bar to catch a drink one evening in 2018. We had spent some incredible hours facilitating a gender workshop and thought it fine to enjoy a band over some light conversation while supping some refreshments. The band strapped the evening with their vast swathes of Congolese […]

November 12, 2021 Onyango Otieno No Comments

Birth and Death

How much about your mental health do you know? I’ll tell you one thing; both birth and death are painful. In between them is a window of opportunity. A moment in space where you exist in the physical realm. We all get different time. Some stay for hours, some days, some for years. What do […]