Daddy, do you know how it Hurts?

Daddy, I want to learn your pain

Every time I look into your eyes I see a trapped boy screaming for help

Grabbing onto anything he finds that’d get him to breathe

Daddy, what happened,

What happened to you?

I want to know the high alcohol gives you

I want to feel how powerful it makes you

Will it make us closer if I became like you?

The whole world is drinking anyway, there could be truths everyone runs for in those places

I want to know the thrill of your stagger, the joy in your tongue when you stammer – that your body dances in ecstacy your words become bullets

How did you learn to play this music that kills;

how did you become so good at it?

Because a lot of times when I sleep I really don’t want to wake up again

At least in my dreams I can’t smell the stench of beer coming off anyone’s mouth reminding me of my pain. 

In my dreams I can drink as much tea with my friends and nobody gets home late to sleeping kids who wanted to hear their daddy affirming them before they went to bed. In my dreams nobody’s whipping my back for a mark I missed

Daddy, are you dying like me?

Does the pressure of manhood suffocate you like it does me?

Are you out there drinking because it’s easier to forget than face your turmoil even for a moment?

Is it worth it than being vulnerable?

To be revered for your stern voice and dragon eyes

To be worshipped religiously each time you walk into a room

That you swallow all the air the people trying to love you breathe

Daddy, do you know what a coffin feels like for a walking corpse?

Our home, just look at our home

Daddy, are you okay?

Do the women you go out with soothe your pain than mum’s touch? Do we tire you that much?

Does your pain have to come out in a fist?

Does the high of liquor free you in that abyss?

Daddy, talk to me

I’m running out of energy

It’s raining men now, daddy. They’re falling off buildings and raping women in parties

They’re driving the country down and building walls to shut families out

They’re shooting boys with machismo, the streets are blue

I want to be high with you

Maybe I’d escape this hue

I too want to forget the death of my childhood

I need the sad memories to disappear

I want to soak my mind in trance

Take me away from this place, daddy.