We’re not being honest about the systemic hatred for women indoctrinated upon us by our cultures, media, religions and political class – stiffly perpetuated by egocentric patriarchal worldviews.
“Not all men” is a dilapidated defence mechanism meant to absolve ourselves from the scourge of sexual and gender based violence largely sustained by men our kind. Men in the Americas. Men in India. Men in Africa. Men in Australia. We’re the raining terror, flooding misfortune and bodily harm upon women’s rights and dignity.
Anytime we reduce a woman’s harm or death caused by her partner or rapist or assailant by shouting “not all men”, we’re being hypocritical by insinuating we are not part of the problem. Yet our silence automatically would suggest that we are complicit to these heinous vices.
What are the leading causes of men’s suicide and murder of men and who, according to numbers, perpetuates them?
Of course many men are raped, harmed, and battered by their female spouses and girlfriends and other women. But if we truly care about them, we must be intentional about opening specific forums and kamukunjis to discuss the realities of these happenings, dissecting the possible causes and thinking of solutions. We cannot bring this up to silence and shame women for speaking up against violence meted upon one of them as an equalizer. It is escapist and murderous.
Do we see ourselves outside the lenses of violence? This is where the struggle is. We believe that a man is synonymous to dominance and taking up space. So anyone who attempts to challenge this, and worse of they be a woman, is severely punished. We shall not point at the aggressor but shame the victim even in their death.